It turns out that the gig life isn’t made for a five-year-old. Music constantly booming in my ears,
grown-ups everywhere, some intoxicated and some not, but most importantly, nothing for a five-year-old to do.
“Mom, I’m tired. I wanna go home”
“Find something to do. Go be creative.”
This was my mother’s only shot to pay the bills this week. We had been on food stamps all week, and
this gig would give her the money to pay off the apartment bill.
As a child, I was constantly left on my own to entertain myself, always wandering around where my
mother was playing trumpet, finding a room with a toy, appliance, or drawing material. My favorite place that my mother
went to most frequently was Johns Hopkins/Peabody. I could always find a computer to use or a piano to play which made
me feel the most comfortable. Even amidst all the crazy environments I was placed in as a child, I always was able to
let hours fly by using my creativity and imagination.
Going to school was a different experience for me. It was a completely different
environment where I did not have my mother, and I wasn’t exploring on my own anymore. I
would describe myself as pretty reclusive; I had never been around kids my age and was
confined to learning in our little cubicle seats with all the new information thrown at me. While
spending time in the Johns Hopkins facilities had a positive impact on my cognitive learning
abilities, it didn’t teach me how to make friends and use my time wisely. I did not really begin to
flourish socially in school until I started band class in 4th grade. It was my first real experience
with my peers outside of my classroom. It was something I was immediately drawn into, a way
to be creative while playing in solitude, yet also with others. My fidgeting with rhythm section
equipment during my mom’s concerts only made it seem right that I chose percussion. The band
was something I came to sink all of my energy and time into since it was something I loved
doing. However, music came to be unbalanced.
I began to struggle in school slightly. Missing assignments turned into bad grades, and
bad grades turned into a less-than-ideal situation at home. My immigrant parents were harsh on
me, forcing me to be attentive and on my own even in the elementary grade levels. I began to fall
behind to the point of getting an E in 5th Grade English. Crazy to say, that was the biggest failure
of my learning career.
I was immediately withdrawn from all extracurricular activities. The classic disappointed
lecture was given to me: “You’re a smart kid, Bakhari”, “I hate to see you like this”. I had gotten
too caught up in the music, and it had caused me to lose track of work, and most importantly,
time. It caused me to wake up from the music dream I was living, and tune in to the real world. I
knew if I didn’t bring up my grades and kept slacking, I would continue to slack into middle
school and maybe high school. In the valley of my slump, I realized that if I wanted to continue
doing what I love, I needed to begin to work to get better at school.
Through middle and high school, I spent most of my time working on my grades, having
many trials and tribulations, while still taking GT classes and gradually getting back into my
activities. I have learned how to correctly balance my activities, and make meaningful
connections with peers and teachers. …